Taste Fire

With your mouth…
~~>feel flames.
With your heart…
~~>see destiny.
With your eyes…
~~>taste fire.

Felicia Lujan
5.2.2013

Unpredictable

•Friday Night Storm Clouds•
………………………………….by Felicia Lujan

What is it about the weather? It’s so unpredictable. Elements are cutting. Illusions of summer entertain a frigid antagonist. I shiver. I sink and wait for a reluctant warmth. What is it about the weather in New Mexico? Clouds go and come just to bring the rain. I shimmer. I float and wait for the winds of change. What is it about the weather? It is always unpredictable. Elements are piercing. The illusion of a ray of light is quickly swept away with storms.

by Felicia Lujan
3.8.2013

Acknowledged by a Poet•Writer•Sommelier

It’s always awesome to hear that someone interesting has been able to connect to me. Today I was told that “a creative writer” who “pursues her passion for the vinous” mentioned me on her web site.

Tonight I took a peek and discovered a lovely site being managed by a woman named Erin Brooks. Her web site is called “brooksonwine” and you should make time for a visit there.

I would like to meet Ms. Brooks, because we seem to have some things in common. She lives in New Mexico and works in Santa Fe. She went to CSF, and she is a writer who dabbles in creative writing and poetry.

I am honored to have a food piece I wrote in 2008 picked up by Ms. Brooks. Even more so now that I know she works for “Geronimo, New Mexico’s only four-star, four-diamond  restaurant” as a resident expert of the spirits. She has been a “bartender, bar manager and sommelier” who dreams of being a Master of Wine one day.

I love this woman. She is an educated writer~ she is creative~ and she is giving me credit for some good food! Ms. Brooks said “here’s my favorite recipe for posole, which I found in an article titled “Tamales” by Felicia Lujan in Edible Santa Fe’s Winter 2008 issue.”

Thanks for the props Ms. Brooks. Maybe we will meet soon over a glass of your goods and a bowl of mine!

My First Issue

My 1st Issue of “Poets & Writers” Magazine (Volume 4, Issue 1, Jan/Feb 2013)

When I got home today, I was so excited to see that my very first issue of Poets & Writers magazine arrived by mail! This may be the best news I have had all week. Awesome~ awesome~ just plain awesome!

The first time I discovered the magazine, I was eating at Flying Star Cafe. Out of hundreds of magazines I was instantaneously drawn to this one. It was meant to be. It was time I discovered this publication. The resource and classified sections are so amazing!

The magazine has a wide range of writing news and trends. The pieces are geared toward a variety of writing styles and personalities. This issue has a special section titled Inspiration: New Literary, Emotional, and Scientific Approaches to the Imaginative Power Inside Us All.

Some of the articles in this issue include: Why We Write; The Secret Lives of Stories: Rewriting Our Personal Narratives; The Inspired Reader; The Secret Lives of Songs; The Inspired Mind: A Window Into the Writer’s Brain; The Time is Now: Writing Prompts for the New Year; The Heart and the Eye: How Description Can Access Emotion. I am going to love~ love~ just plain love this getting this magazine!

~~Weight of My Heart~~

~~Weight of My Heart~~
Digital composite by Felicia Lujan

~~Weight of My Heart~~

My heart is heavy.
It is gilded for the
deepest warfare.
Only I can offer
the purest carats~
untouched by falsity.
This weight can crush
the strong and weak
while platinum strings
are tugged so carelessly.
This heart of hearts~
impenetrable~
still penetrated
time and time again.
My heart is heavy.
This weightiness
a blessing~
at times a curse.
In the end I can only
hope that the scale
offers proof to
Gods and Men.

by Felicia Lujan
November 26, 2012

¤ A Broken Bone ¤

~~The Wishbone~~

¤¤¤¤¤

A wish for just one bottled
flame capped with hope and
sorcery.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Though the glass will break,
I’ll try again. Just leave one
wish for me.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

A wish for moonlight and
the smell of rain so I could
lock the memory.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Though the clouds move in
and drops don’t fall, just
leave one wish for me.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

A wish for five more words
from you before you break
eternity.

¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤

Though the wishbone is
broken, I’ll ask again. Just
leave one wish for me.

¤¤¤¤¤

by Felicia Lujan
11.20.2012

~A French Tongue on The Weeknd~

~My new three disc “Trilogy” by The Weeknd~

I locked down the three disc “Trilogy” by The Weeknd this weekend. The compilation features remastered versions of three of the mixtapes already released by The Weeknd (Abel Tesfaye) who is a Canadian from Ontario. The album is all black and was released under Universal Republic Records, and The Weeknd’s very own label XO. His label so deserves to be called XO! Maybe it should even be called XOXO? Even though I had most of the tracks already, I had to support this amazing singer/songwriter. Not only did he get noticed by releasing his songs under his pen name on YouTube, but on one song that I had not heard (“Montreal”) he seductively sings in French. So awesome with lyrics to die for.

 

A Rough Diamond

~Earrings I purchased from a woman in need of warmth on 11.11.12~

The wind was blowing hard on Sunday. I could feel the icy fingertips of old man winter clawing on my back. It was just another day. Another day to tread the cracked pavement of old parking lots. Another day to push my heavy basket of groceries up that same steep slope. Just another day to walk fast looking blindly on to my next task~ and then I saw her.

She was walking from person to person in the blistering cold. Her box of trinkets was wrapped tightly in her arms. I noticed her from a distance. She has a kind face. Under the dirt and tangled hair, there is beauty. Even with her best smile she was getting a solid “NO” from each person she asked.

The woman has approached me a few times over the last year. She carries a fancy little leather box filled with handmade jewelry she declares as her own. I have turned her down a few times under the summer sun. Sunday was different because I felt bad for her. She is likely addicted to drugs and homeless. I could have sworn I saw track marks once, but self induced paranoia can get the best of us. It was just so cold that day and it will only get colder.

Sometimes I wonder how we can stay warm when it is cold if we continue to cherish stone hearts? I lied to her at first. I told her the same story I tell all the others~ that I had paid with a check inside. She smiled at me politely, said thanks and walked away. When she was walking away, I noticed how red her face was. It was tarnished by the wind. She held on to her fancy fur hat when a gust almost snagged it away.

At that moment I realized I could afford to help her out even if it was just this once. I didn’t care what she would really use the money for. All I knew was that I was acting in good faith with a warm heart. Quickly rolling down my window I called to her. She came back and opened her case for me. I paid for a set of earrings that I didn’t need, but it made me feel good.

She was probably someone once~ yet she is still someone’s daughter and she may be someone’s mother. Now she has slipped into the shadows. It can be cold there~ but I must have faith that one day she will feel the warmth on her face again.

Hillerman Conference Afterthoughts

~Betsy and Felicia~

Saturday night I attended the final event of the Tony Hillerman Writers Conference. There was a closing dinner with an awards ceremony. The conference was wonderful. If there are any writers out there who are looking for new venues to network, develop skills, and explore creativity, I would highly recommend this conference. I kept thinking that some of my friends should really be there. This year the conference was held from November 8-10. It was indeed awesome. As always, I learned so much. The conference secured attendance from 10 states and 25 towns. There were also two people here from Canada. I was amazed because one of the attendees from Canada must have purchased at least 50 books during the course of the conference!

~Felicia Lujan and
Author Rob Kresge
(Former CIA Analyst)~

This year I really had the chance to get to know more about some people I met last year. I did enjoy learning more about Jean Schaumberg, Laureen Pepersack, Jenn, and George Watson. I worked closely with all of them over the course of the conference. I also spent some quality chat time with: Betsy Randolph (author, state trooper/spokeswoman of the Oklahoma Highway Patrol); Rob Kresge (award-winning author, former CIA analyst); Wolf Schneider (movie unit publicist and writer/editor); and David Morrell (award-winning author, co-founder of the International Thriller Writers organization). I learned something special from all of these people.

~Author/State Trooper/Spokeswoman of the Oklahoma Highway Patrol, Betsy Randolph talks about her new book Tokens of the Liars. Her mother Joyce is listening proudly.~

~Author Peter Joseph of New York
and his new book Boozy Brunch~

There was a vast amount of information covered each day. My writing is improving every year because of this conference. Following are some quotes, and interesting or useful things I learned this year.

~~~ David Morrell revealed that Marilyn Monroe was indeed a very smart woman. He has studied her as a “cultural icon.” I learned that she was “somewhat of a poet.” I didn’t know that. Now I want to track down her poetry. He told me that she was an orphan at an early age (which I knew). I wondered if this may be why he is interested in her? Morrell was also an orphan.

~~~Rob Kresge told me that he and any other person who has worked or works for the CIA has to run any manuscripts by the CIA Publications Review Board. This has to be done prior to publishing anything if the story is set anytime after 1947 (the year the CIA was born). Apparently this is to make sure no “secrets” get out.

~~~Anne Hillerman delivered a touching presentation about her father titled Adventures with Tony Hillerman. There were two quotes I really liked. Anne said “writing is like love~ don’t hold anything back.” She also said “don’t trust anyone who doesn’t watch the sunset.”

~~~Bill O’Hanlon delivered a presentation on e-books and e-publishing. He is a psychotherapist who has been featured on Oprah. From O’Hanlon I learned that there are over 1 billion Kindle devices in reader’s hands. He said that the Hunger Games book sold at a 4 to 1 ratio e-book/print, and that e-book readers read and buy more books. These two statistics were interesting~ in 2010 there was not one self-published e-book in the Kindle/Amazon.com top 100 list and in 2011 there were 18 self-published e-books on that list.

~~~Peter Joseph delivered a presentation on traditional publishing. When I saw the “sample author questionnaire” he passed out I just about fainted. Some questions on the sample included: citizenship; hobbies; most unusual job you have ever had; website/blog URLs and traffic numbers; information about how you are inspired; and the names and/or occupations of family members, if newsworthy or relevant.

It was a great conference. Hopefully I will be able to participate from here on out. I do hope that this one will stay running strong.

**Made the “to read” Pile**

Well…. Some good news~ I found out I made it into the “to read” pile- 20 out of 40+ entries! Nice…

**Writing with the Stars**

Well— tonight is the night. I am on my way to a book signing with some of the best authors I know- including a few New York Times “best!” Awesome…. I am a little nervous because following that I have entered an anonymous piece of writing into the Writing with the Stars critique series. It starts at 7:00pm and runs through 9:00pm. I had done so last year and the critics said I assumed my audience was uneducated- so frankly I was being rather sheepish about another entry. It is a bit intimidating for sure! Let’s see what happens this year?? I went with the famous phrase “write what you know,” so hopefully I will get better feedback. The critique will be done by the infamous “daddy” of Rambo- David Morrell and literary agent Elizabeth Trupin-Pulli. Maybe I’ll share what I wrote tomorrow.

Wish me luck!!!

Toxic Breath

••••••••••••••••••••••••
Breathe in orbital magic~
heavenly~ to glaze my
lungs with falling stars.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
Breathe out illusionary
innocence~ collapse my
chest but leave no scars.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
On the tips of tongues~
consume air and shadows
wrapped with infinity.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
Take control~ no mouth
to mouth~ expel a gasp
so breathlessly.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
Breathe in~ breathe out~
do as you will~ nourish
another tragedy.
••••••••••••••••••••••••
The oxygen~ not mine
to keep~ this toxic
breath is killing me.
••••••••••••••••••••••••

by Felicia Lujan
November 7, 2012

»•«Candy Red»•«

»»»»»•••••«««««
Candy red like
burnt edges of
a floating memory.
Sweet and sour-
through the thickest
shell I cannot see.
»»»»»•••••«««««
Candy red like
lips on fire- steady
tainted by the flame.
Scorching words
to drive the calmest
minds insane.
»»»»»•••••«««««
Candy red like
the fastest car
catching another
forceful ray. Slow
down to taste the
sugar paint so you
can lose your way.
»»»»»•••••«««««
Candy red, not black
and blue like the
middle of my mind.
Licorice- flavoring
true- just the sweetest
thing you’ll find.
»»»»»•••••«««««

by Felicia Lujan
November 3, 2012

~The Nothing~

~Black Hole and the Moon~

~THE NOTHING~

<O><O><O><O><O><O><O>
~Idle words divert themselves into a vibrant void~
~the haughtiest of ears sealed shut~ eyes closed~
~like a thousand needles through a single soul~
~an empty pierce leaving flesh and stars exposed~
~hath holds sun while hiding nighttime near~
~nothingness seeps from palms to fingertips~
~always absent from broken~ melted dreams~
~accustomed to the naught gifted to my lips~
~nonexistence feeding hungry fools and ghosts~
~words still lost~ gone to float in zero gravity~
~nullity is mine to hold with a loving embrace~
~missing from the evening sky~
~I am the nothing~ so I see~
<O><O><O><O><O><O><O>

by Felicia Lujan
October 30, 2012

~Kill Switch~

 

~KILL SWITCH~
Original poem and digital composite by Felicia Lujan
Composite features seven layers and six images including: labyrinthine circuit board lines; an Ethernet switch; a blue light; a sugar skull; a blue rose; and the number one doubled. “A kill switch, also known as an e-stop, is a security mechanism used to shut off a device in an emergency situation in which it cannot be shut down in the usual manner. Unlike a normal shut-down switch/procedure, which shuts down all systems in an orderly fashion and turns the machine off without damaging it, a kill switch is designed and configured to a) completely abort the operation at all costs and b) be operable in a manner that is quick, simple (so that even a panicking user with impaired executive function can operate it), and, usually, c) be obvious even to an untrained operator or a bystander. Many kill switches feature a removable barrier or other protection against accidental activation.”

~KILL SWITCH~

______________________________

“All systems failed,” molten overload~
smoke clouds my eyes so I can’t see.

Shatter my sky with electric sparks
until I writhe with needless agony.

______________________________

Technologist~delight supreme~ the
bits and bytes eat an ever shrouded heart.

Penchant one please hit the switch, flesh
on my knees gone from the start.

______________________________

Only heat can melt away frostbitten
dreams of eternal sleepy nights.

No earthly tribute would ever satiate
or bring my face into the light.

______________________________

This debility a poison true,
every wire flushed out with pain.

Intangible~ you should reach for it.
Hit the kill switch~ keep me sane.

_____________________________

by Felicia Lujan
October 19, 2012