….* When It Rains *….

~•» New Mexico Rain On a Window by Felicia Lujan (Photo taken 7.3.2013) «•~

A road trip can really allow some time to think. You know? Quiet time? Time to explore the confines of my tangled mind when it rains. Debate. Contemplate. Wonder. Yesterday I went home feeling like I was making a metaphorical trip down south, so maybe I really needed time to over think things (as usual) on a real trip down south.

I am almost always a positive and happy person. What’s beyond me is why I allow irrational, pointless feelings and illusions to break through that. Yesterday and this morning, I guess I did feel sad for stupid reasons. Seeing the rain on my window as I traveled down I-25 south made me start to think about that. I’m a fighter. I don’t know why I bother to care about things that are beyond my control? Why? It’s wasted energy really. After a sick with the sickness leg workout this morning, I did feel much better for a few hours.

It wasn’t until the last rays of day started to fade that my mind popped off. The sun was setting as I passed Exit 175 pointing off to Mountainair. Mountainair? My tantalizingly unavailable thoughts seemed to multiply into oblivion when I saw that sign. At that moment, I realized that I don’t know what the towns of Mountainair, Los Lunas, or Peralta are really like? I guess I probably never will? Maybe I should just be content with being from up north? I was the one who just wrote about happiness being a choice right? I don’t even know why my heart would yearn for anything more? Why should I even care what the hell Los Lunas is like? I’m not a cowgirl, I’m a Santa Fe gym rat!

Upon approaching San Acacia and Lemitar, the small mountains looked absolutely enchanting. The deep, dark blue New Mexico sky was the perfect backdrop for the shadowy mountains. The beauty helped me escape my why, what if, and who cares thought process. If it weren’t for the beauty around me and my love of writing, my hungry mind would surely swallow me whole. It’s all just illusions, smoke and mirrors anyhow. Now I’ll get back to enjoying the lovely night and the open road.

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