Strength

♡this

“I don’t really want to become normal, average, standard. I want merely to gain in strength, in the courage to live out my life more fully, enjoy more, experience more. I want to develop even more original and more unconventional traits.”

•Anaïs Nin, The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934

Sadly… That’s Just the Way It Is

“Men come and go, cities rise and fall, whole civilizations appear and disappear-the earth remains, slightly modified. The earth remains, and the heartbreaking beauty where there are no hearts to break…. I sometimes choose to think, no doubt perversely, that man is a dream, thought, an illusion, and only rock is real. Rock and sun.”

Edward Abbey, Desert Solitaire: A Season in the Wilderness

Watch “Hillerman Writers Conference (2015)” on YouTube

Going though my personal archive and realized I hadn’t shared these memories on-line! I really miss this conference and working for and with wonderful, creative spirits every year.

Hillerman Photo Feature

It’s awesome to have my photo featured on Anne Hillerman’s web site. She is New Mexico’s own… New York Times, Best Selling Author. Her newest book was just released this month.

I believe her photographer took this picture of me in 2015. I’ve leaned out since then, but this photo is a historical keeper anyhow. I think it was choosen because I just happen to be holding one of her famous father’s books in one hand, and her book (launched that year) in another. It is great to see a daughter carry on her father’s legacy, whilst still building her own.

My girlfriend, Anna lives in Los Alamos. She also caught a glympse of me in the Los Alamos Monitor. My photo ran with an article promoting an annual dinner for writers on April 25th.

https://annehillerman.com/calendar/

https://www.ladailypost.com/content/anne-hillerman-headlines-second-annual-new-mexico-writers-dinner-april-25

Anyway

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies. Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds. Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs. Fight for underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them. Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you’ll get kicked in the teeth. Give the world the best you have anyway.

~~~Kent M. Keith, The Silent Revolution

Assassin’s Wish

“What is it that I’ll
want from you? Not
love: that would be
too much to ask. Not
forgiveness, which
isn’t yours to bestow.
Only a listener,
perhaps; only
someone who will
see me. Don’t prettify
me though, whatever
else you do: I have
no wish to be a
decorated skull.

But I leave myself
in your hands. What
choice do I have?
By the time you read
this last page, that…
if anywhere…
is the only place
I will be.”

x•x| Margaret Atwood,
x•x| The Blind Assassin

Keeper of Fragile Things

“What you burnt,
broke, and tore is
still in my hands.
I am the keeper
of fragile things
and I have kept
of you what is
indissoluble.”

~~~•| Anaïs Nin

For Lillies I Weep

My lillies are looking absolutely ravishing this year if I do say so myself! My roses are doing ok, but dislike the heat and sadly, the sunflowers I planted died as mere sprouts.

“Don’t be ashamed to weep;
’tis right to grieve. Tears are
only water, and flowers, trees,
and fruit cannot grow without water.
But there must be sunlight
also. A wounded heart will heal
in time, and when it does, the
memory and love of our lost ones
is sealed inside to comfort us.”
|•|~~Brian Jacques, Taggerung

~~L O V E L Y~~

Dark Enchantment Binge

••Vanessa (witch) and Ethan (werewolf)••

I’m totally binge watching Penny Dreadful (Season 2). Why didn’t I discover this awesome series during Season 1? Love, mystery, enchantment, darkness, sex, spells… what’s not to like? It’s great to see this British-American horror story bring some of the best written monsters by some of the best authors to life. I also love the darkness of Eva Green. She plays a much different role than she did in my beloved 300: Rise of an Empire as Artemisia, but she still plays a bad ass. Time for bed. It’s after midnight again!

Quotes from Glorious Horrors [2.6]

Victor: It’s not without complications. That’s what they call the workings inside of watches. Did you know that? The intricate gears and mechanisms. Complications.

Vanessa: Then enjoy them, doctor. They will tick away no matter what we do.

Mr. Lyle: A dizzying panorama, isn’t it? All the toys of love are out of the box, scattered around the floor.

Vanessa: And at the end of the night, to be carefully put away. These terrible games.

Mr. Lyle: And do you ever play? Or only spectate?

Vanessa: I never learned the rules. The complications, as Dr. Frankenstein said to me, like the workings in a watch.

Queen of Hearts

•••♥Screenshot of my new wallpaper. This is such an awesome piece with the Queen holding her bloody heart. I love this artist and what a great quote ha?•••♥

“The blood of Heaven binds you,” said the Queen. “Blood calls to blood, under the skin. But love and blood are not the same.”

“Riddles,” Clary said angrily. “Do you even mean anything when you talk like that?”

“He is bound to you,” said the Queen. “But does he love you?”

~••Cassandra Clare
City of Fallen Angels
(The Mortal Instruments, #4)

Dirty Blonde

“If passion was a substance
I would say it is dark brown,
and then blood red. It’s like
wet grass, tons of it soaked
in mud. It’s warm and it stinks
like shit and it’s unaccountably
and endlessly good. It’s thick
and it goes on for miles and it
isn’t so much deep as bottomless
and it holds you in its grip, you
never drown. And then it goes.
That’s all you know.”

Eileen Myles, Inferno
(a poet’s novel)

Exhale Ice

“With my last breath,
I’ll exhale my love for
you. I hope it’s a cold
day, so you can see
what you meant to me.”
***Jarod Kintz

Sink

“The desert and the ocean are realms of desolation on the surface. The desert is a place of bones, where the innards are turned out, to desiccate into dust. The ocean is a place of skin, rich outer membranes hiding thick juicy insides, laden with the soup of being. Inside out and outside in. These are worlds of things that implode or explode, and the only catalyst that determines the direction of eco-movement is the balance of water. Both worlds are deceptive, dangerous. Both, seething with hidden life. The only veil that stands between perception of what is underneath the desolate surface is your courage. Dare to breach the surface and sink.”

••~Vera Nazarian, The Perpetual Calendar of Inspiration

My Lil Hillerman Interview

————————————–
This interview is from the 2014 conference. It just went up on the Wordharvest channel on YouTube this week, so I wanted to share it. I’m honored to have my interview footage alongside those of several famous and infamous authors. Unfortunately, the sun was in my eyes, so I’m squinting through the whole thing!

Coincidentally, the video footage was edited by a guy from my gym. He recognized me and told my boss he knew me. He knows me from a very different world LoL. He was proly like… “is this the same gal? Hummm?” I never knew he did stuff like this. I guess you never know what iron lovers do on their spare time eh?

I’m looking forward to the 2015 conference. The author of Longmire will be there to talk about the move to NetFlix, which is awesome!!! I loved meeting him even though I don’t love any cowboys. Maybe I’ll ask him if he killed off Chase since I’ve only watched the first episode. I thought it was kinda symbolic in my real world.

Book Jacket by Candlelight

•••Felicia's preliminary designs for the jacket of a new book.•••

This week was a super busy week for me. I need more hours in the day!!!! I was slammed at work, had a bunch of meetings, straight killed it in the gym and then came home to work more every night until tonight! Most of my evening work was creative work, which is good, but I was up last night until after 2:00am. I am so tired. A two hour workout featuring bi, tri, shoulder and trap monster sets means I’m tired and wasted!

From Monday thru Thursday, I edited over 100 images for a Santa Fe author. She needed many things done in order to mail the beginning parts which will coincide with her manuscript to her publisher. The images needed to meet publishing specs. I also designed a mockup jacket for her upcoming book, which required a large amount of image extraction. It was a stressful, but fun project with many long nights!! Hopefully the publisher will run with my design.