To Die For

×xX~ A perfect, hand-painted addition to my office deco. She’s to die for♡. ~Xx×

Not Exactly Hela☆ RIP Stan Lee

The week Stan Lee passed away, I decided to give my Poison Ivy cosplay hair color a permanent run and I colored it myself. So far I’m into going from blonde to red, but I’m not exactly Hela (yet) and I’m not exactly Poison. May the true Marvel superhero rest in peace.

All Done Up

These the seat covers I’m rolling with in the Caddy now. Perfect for me right?! Run out n find ’em too. I know you wanna copy me bitchez.

Breaking It

inside my soul

a splitting sound

loud as a thunderous storm

who thought the

sky was falling down

for Heaven didn’t warn

heart beats strong

it’s built to last

through hurricanes insane

another gain

on Love’s brigade

guns ablaze for pain

through wind and rain

remember my name

etched and brightly lit

been in sun

rays bright like heart

no longer breaking it

….

by Felicia Lujan

3.28.18

Night of the Vampires

………
I love getting special, dark deliveries during a heart popping workout. The first came a month ago with a “save the date” packet for Halloween at the Coltons. It’s always a special time with the gym budz. The packet had a magnet, blood oozing sucker and disposable fangs for a hint of the official invite to come.

A couple weeks ago, Christina hand delivered small, locked suitcases to the gym. How interesting… 3-D invites! Each was an individual invite to “Night of the Vampires” and had it’s very own key to reveal the contents. The dark and intricte lining, spills the contents of a creative mind… and a vampire slaying kit.

Christina is a gorgeous woman with seriously amazing skills. I’m so happy to have met such a creative soul who never skips a beat!

×× What a “save the date” looks like hanging off the bench on chest day. ×× 

Death’s Grip

|×××| Today I used my new skeleton hand hair clips to compliment my bone swag. I had on: my newest gym shred shirt featuring a woman kissing a skull; the “to the death” pact skull bracelet Elaine bought me; and the awesome new hair clips Carmen just bought me. Love those gals and loved this deathly look for a killer bi/tri workout. |×××|

‘Til Death: Our Pact

“You gotta
fight for every
breath and tell
death to go
to hell.” 
—-Ernesto “Che” Guevara

•~ Only iron can break us. Elaine and Felicia… GBFFs or better yet, GBFTTD (gym best friends to the death). Oh yeah… in our new kicks too! ~•

Sometimes you just have to decide that nothing… nothing… I mean absolutely nothing will stop you. With tears in our eyelined eyes, a little over a month ago, together, we made a real pact in the gym. We promised each other that no matter what happens to us, we will breathe iron. No arms, one leg, sickness, injuries, wheelchairs, crawling… we will be in there ’til death!

Last Saturday, my friend Elaine brought me a gift to the gym in a small black bag. She had a cute little smile on her face when she approached me. She bought us matching friendship bracelets with tiny skulls in honor of our pact and told me thank you for being so supportive. We aren’t going down without a fight! That’s a promise.
*♥💀♥*

Zombies Have Hearts Too

Three frozen hands in "Zombie Punch"

It is so worth it to make my son’s smile light up when we do special things for him. I had fun gathering creepy treats for his Call of Duty- Black Ops III- Zombies themed party. It was a just for fun get together for he and his friends. They had a blast! I got tired, but seeing my son happy made it worth it. As an only child, he craves the company of other children his age. I was surprised he had such a good turn out with one day notice to parents, but who can pass up a video game party?

There were about 10 kids. It’s funny, but when children get together, they mysteriously gravitated away from the addictive video games. What a shocker! One of the boys brought Jelly Belly’s newest edition of BeanBoozled and it was straight comedy watching them challenge each other. I embedded a video below. In addition to gaming, they actually played football, tossed throwing stars, played with Nerf guns and played hide-n-seek.

We had a good time, but I was like… thank heavens I only had one!! Poor my jito! Dear lawd… how did they do it back in the day?

Invitations designed for my♥

Snack table and gift bags for the kids.

Dark Enchantment Binge

••Vanessa (witch) and Ethan (werewolf)••

I’m totally binge watching Penny Dreadful (Season 2). Why didn’t I discover this awesome series during Season 1? Love, mystery, enchantment, darkness, sex, spells… what’s not to like? It’s great to see this British-American horror story bring some of the best written monsters by some of the best authors to life. I also love the darkness of Eva Green. She plays a much different role than she did in my beloved 300: Rise of an Empire as Artemisia, but she still plays a bad ass. Time for bed. It’s after midnight again!

Quotes from Glorious Horrors [2.6]

Victor: It’s not without complications. That’s what they call the workings inside of watches. Did you know that? The intricate gears and mechanisms. Complications.

Vanessa: Then enjoy them, doctor. They will tick away no matter what we do.

Mr. Lyle: A dizzying panorama, isn’t it? All the toys of love are out of the box, scattered around the floor.

Vanessa: And at the end of the night, to be carefully put away. These terrible games.

Mr. Lyle: And do you ever play? Or only spectate?

Vanessa: I never learned the rules. The complications, as Dr. Frankenstein said to me, like the workings in a watch.

Love and Loss

We are always crushed when we have to part ways with what we love. It feels like I’m being gutted from the inside out… like part of my soul has been erased… like I’ve died a million deaths… like a huge black hole has swallowed my tiny heart. Writers always speak metaphorically. It is often beyond the grasp of a basic thought process. Metaphors allow me to speak in tongues and code my life and your life as I see fit. My smashed, totalled 4runner is a metaphor for loss despite love.

It is all a cycle… love and hate… happiness and sadness… life and death… loss and gain. Sometimes those things we perceive as being valuable, actually mean absolutely nothing in the grand scheme of things. The value of real love and happiness is all that matters when we are facing death. Who really cared when I was facing death? What really matters when you face a potential end? Measure it as we may, but there will never be value in valueless things.

I was crushed when I had to part ways with the 4runner I loved so much. It almost killed me. If there is one thing I’ve learned through all this accident trauma, it is this… People are people, they are either there for you or they aren’t. Cars are cars, they either last or they don’t. Love is love, it either lives or dies. Maybe some love is meant to be lost? Maybe only then can we understand true value?

••Meet my new illusion of value and love. It is my 2016 Cadillac SRX. I guess I can find it in my tiny, crushed, bruised, broken heart to fall for bass and bluetooth for my iPod, a push button start, dual exhaust, and the leather interior that laces Cadillac's best selling model since 2010 that turns into a rolling wifi hot spot. I guess lol.••

Questions

“Very few beings really seek
knowledge in this world. Mortal
or immortal, few really ask. On
the contrary, they try to wring
from the unknown the answers
they have already shaped in their
own minds — justifications,
confirmations, forms of
consolation without which
they can’t go on. To really ask
is to open the door to the
whirlwind. The answer may
annihilate the question and
the questioner.”

•Anne Rice, The Vampire Lestat
(The Vampire Chronicles, #2)

Lady Death

Asleep is he, the mortal man,
bloodless with endless breath.
Buried in those steep demands
of the loveless Lady Death.

Cold to touch. Erasing pain.
Ever mortified by heat.
Endless aches for hardened souls
for death one cannot beat.

Wasting away, her tired bones,
inanimate and weak.
Gone for now like fireflies by
day, vanishing the unique.

Burning up. She’s Lady Death.
Consumed by deadly things.
Non-extant and turned to dust,
dark angel never got her wings.

Asleep is he, the mortal man,
loveless and out of breath.
Buried by simple demands
of the immortal Lady Death.

by Felicia Lujan
4.24.2015

Kissing statue, San Diego

I love this sculpture by Seward Johnson. An amazing artist captured this moment between a sailor and nurse after WWII. I can only imagine what this man was “feeling” when he swept this woman up in his arms in real life. It’s part of Johnson’s Unconditional Surrender series. Feelings are so powerful. ~~~F

Pursuit of Life

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In Memory of Plitt

It is sad that one minute you can be on top and the next minute, you can be gone. Greg Plitt was at the top of his game, making an ad for his new protein shake when he was hit and killed by a train yesterday. He was born in Baltimore and lived in LA.

He had done so many things in the fitness world, but his most impressive credentials included being a retired United States Army Ranger. Plitt was a captain and company commander who was certified in airborne combat. He was also a fitness and weapons expert.

I thought this 2013 video was hauntingly telling of his sad fate. In the beginning Plitt speaks about death and being remembered. The footage is also filled with trains. 💪RIP Plitt~ I’m sure you gifted many with the hope and drive it takes to foster and sustain positive change. A large part of your contributions to the world of fitness will be immortal.

Flying

October 25, 2014, 2:37pm
Headed to San Diego, CA from Albuquerque, NM (midflight)

There are some things which can be simultaneously exhilarating yet terrifying to the core. You know? The things which make you feel alive and maybe scared to die all at once? One of those things involves being trapped above the clouds in a strange cylindrical object until you reach your final destination. I wouldn’t say that I hate flying. It gets you from point A to point B much faster than driving. I could kiss each and every early pioneer in this industry. When you fly, you can watch and listen to people. It is an interestingly strange thing to do. Trusting metallic wings also makes you more aware of this great big world and flying can make you cower with the realization that we are really just vulnerable beings in the grand scheme of things.

Looking out the small windows of a 737 heading west, Albuquerque slowly shrank and then disappeared into the sunny distance. A cute little boy, maybe three years old, cheerfully said “goodbye Albuquerque.” I couldn’t help but wonder if this would be the last time I saw my home state from the clouds. I have faith. I know that the power of the heavens is always present, yet this thought still crossed my mind. Doesn’t everyone get nervous to fly? Maybe it simply means that we value life? I suppose that flying comes second nature to frequent flyers…business men and women and world travelers, but I don’t claim to be any of those things. I am just a small town woman who loves to learn. I’m making my way across the clouds toward the ocean to gain knowledge and smell salty air.

There are indeed some things which make us feel alive. Our feelings, whether they evoke goodness or darkness, confirm that we are thirsty mortals. Joy and pain, fear and fearlessness…they act as catalysts within us. I’m not scared to fly. I’m scared to die because I value my life. Before I left on this trip, my sister wanted to meet me. She is an auditor and years ago I had given her a small prayer on paper to take on a business trip. You know? To help keep her safe. She returned the prayer to me on Thursday along with a “Frozen” magnet. The magnet read… “sisters forever.” With the heavens on my side, I’ll most likely make it back just fine. If I don’t, I know that “forever” is engrained in the minds of those who matter to me and those who I matter to. I find comfort in that.