Crack me up… I’m putting myself on blast with this one, but I always say I look like Don King when I get up, but this morning my son told me I look like The Weeknd. I told him that he does too.
Archive for the ‘Sarcasm’ category
I think from now on I’ll have people complete my new survey before we even become friends. It just helps insure that we’re on the right track you know? My friend since high school went through a draft of this survey with me. When we got to #9, she said “I plank” and we both laughed. I said “that works,” plus she owns a yoga studio. When we got to the end she goes “yes! I knew I was your friend” and we high 5’ed it!
It’s funny, but if I had a penny for every time someone asked me how I do things with nails, I’d buy a huge tub of protein. My gym pal and I decided we needed a spa visit. Yep… we’re girls who lift with nails. Last week an older man in the gym asked me how I did it with “those nails?” I told him I’d “use my nail to poke his eye out.” Maybe I should have invited him to watch me bench today? 😂
Today I’m feeling a *tude so I pretty much stomped it out in the gym. It’s all just so inspirational, igniting my inner beast… sending a jolt down my spine.
My focus is seriously like….. woaaaah and that weapon alone (ok maybe with music) will secure my goals on bench, squat and deadz for 2017. I mean the hottest dude could be around and I’m unbroken~ straight killin’ my mission like I’d run him right over to get that rack I’m needing.
One of my friends from the gym always thinks I’m on pre-workout or a buncha caffeine (actually, a lot of people ask me if I take pre-workout), but he and his bae were like… you’re on a mission today! I take no pre-workout and haven’t in years. I drink ’bout 1.5 a day of coffee… nothing major. You know what it is? It’s simple actually…
I’m now able to control my mind in these mysterious ways when I’m in the gym. Music induces this naturally elevated mental state. I’m then able to evoke all of my monsters and control the iron. The jolt runs through me like I’m on this mission alone.
I thought you should know… I don’t have time for you because I’m caught up in this love triangle. The heavy story would just blow your mind. It involves endless pumps that make my skin sweat and my body writhe with pleasure and pain. I also get the greatest gifts like these calves. Real love lasts… I understand that now and I thought you should know.