Burn

the spark
a flame
bright light
you’re name

my pulse
your ache
no light
insane

run hot
black veins
enflamed
with stains

in fire
hearts burn
white light
love pain
🔥
by Felicia Lujan
4.26.2017

Golden

picture the warmth
the sun
pure joy
when gold boldly
meets your eye
a field of bliss
sun kissed by God
and sweet clouds
in painted skies
feel the love
precious daffodils
surround your heart
with light
a field of gold
sun kissed by God
and the power
of His might

by Felicia Lujan
3.25.2017

♡Photograph of flowers from my mama. She recently told my sister and I, “when you feel stressed out, think of a field of daffodils.” The flowers she sent us, opened beautifully. She was also my inspiration for this poem.♡

Fuk Yas

* My cough drop tol’ me *

Setting Wishes Afire

I put Carmen’s flying wish paper to use with the girls. This was one of her birthday gifts for me. What an amazing creation!! Together we prepared our platforms and an undisclosed wish. One by one, we set them afire and watched as they magically floated away.

“May Light always surround you; Hope kindle and rebound you. May your Hurts turn to Healing; Your Heart embrace Feeling. May Wounds become Wisdom; Every Kindness a Prism. May Laughter infect you; Your Passion resurrect you. May Goodness inspire your Deepest Desires. Through all that you Reach For, May your arms Never Tire.”

▪♡▪D. Simone

Progressive = Strength and Endurance

It’s amazing how just focusing on words has so much power. I recently had the word “strength” inked on me and I envision the word all the time now to draw on that which I’ve been permanently marked with. That hasn’t been the only word I’ve been focused on lately, particularly in the gym.

I want to grow. I want my body to keep changing, therefore, I’ve been bringing the word “progressive” into my mind regularly while lifting. Progressive as in progressive overload. If you want to grow, if you want your body to continue changing, you have to challange it to make progress. It has been working for me.

Envisioning these words has given me the power I need. I have the strength to dig deeper. I have the strength to push through for five more reps… to add 10 more pounds… to shorten the time it takes me to run a mile. Since I’ve been back in the gym after work (for round 2) and doing cardio regularly, I’ve shaved 4½ minutes off my time running a mile.

Fitness starts in and is driven by your mind. Today the owner of my gym was apparently having the men’s restroom renovated. I was deadlifting close by and completely oblivious. The gym crowd was mortified by a smell I didn’t even notice. I think that was a testament to how trained my mind is right now. It is just me and my unstoppable mission. My mind is right and it’s unbelieveable how focused it’s become.

Here are two great articles and a video about progressive overload. I plan on staying on this mission until my very last breath.

Progressive Overload Is the Holy Grail of Building Muscle and Strength | King of the Gym

5-Week Program for Progressive Overload | Muscle & Fitness
Muscle & Fitness

Daydreamer: Imagine•Believe•Achieve

I put up a new site theme and redesigned my gravatar. The new theme is tied to nurturing my imagination, believing in myself, and achieving one goal at a time. This applies to all of my hopes and dreams because as Edgar Allan Poe once said… “Those who dream by day are cognizant of many things that escape those who dream only at night.” I’m a daydreamer.

Welcome to 2015

~Resolutions for 2015~

Stay hungry.
Stay focused.
Grow my wingz.
Grow my gunz.
Grow my legz.
Kill my A-Chain.
Kill my P-Chain.
Keep my protein up.
Love the haters.
Pursue knowledge.
Feed my mind.
Feed my soul.
Feed my heart.
Stargaze.
Write everyday.
Practice creativity.
Expand my networks.
Give more.
Expect nothing.
Hope for everything.
Touch greatness.
Work hard.
Dream more.
Never deny love.
Never back down.
Never give up.

The Unification of Fantasy and Reality

“Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels.”
~•••••Francisco De Goya
(Male~Romantic Artist)

“Fantasy is not escape from reality. It’s a way of understanding it.”
~•••••Lloyd Alexander
(Male~ Fantasy Author)

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”
~•••••Albert Einstein
(Male~ Theoretical Physicist)

“Fantasy is an exercise bicycle for the mind. It might not take you anywhere, but it tones up the muscles that can.”
~•••••Sir Terry Pratchett
(Male~Fantasy Author)

“I believe dreams represent the purest form of fantasy we unleash through our subconscious. They represent the truest freedom we can experience. Totally unrepressed and totally creative.”
~•••••Miguel Jontel Pimentel
(Male~ RnB Artist, Songwriter and Producer)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
★The wish I found today while I was outside. Wishes, dreams, fantasy, reality…they are all relative and important to humanity.★
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There is no separation between fantasy and reality. These are not two different lands. They are both realms of one land…the mind. What differentiates these two realms of the mind is our ability to move from one into the other successfully when we want fantasy to become reality. We are inspired by fantasy. In essence, this is moving from theory into practice…mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, artistically, and sexually.

Kim Elizabeth once said “my imagination completely controls me, and forever feeds the fire that burns with dark red light in my heart by bringing me the best dreams.” She is an award-winning dark fantasy author and poet among other things. As a woman, she actively engages her fantasies to bring her writing to life. Her fantasies have made fame a reality. However, the use of fantasy to understand and eventually act in the real world is not a uniquely feminine practice.

Just above you can read quotes from five unique men. They are all very different, yet these quotes show at least one common thread running through the psyche of each. Yes. It’s true. Women use fantasy, but so do men. Another man, Dr. Edward Vockell with Purdue University examines the real world application of fantasy in Educational Psychology: A Practical Approach. His studies look at factors “influencing individual motivation” with regard to fantasy.

Dr. Vockell’s studies show a correlation between fantasy and intrinsic motivation. As a man, he says that fantasy “plays a role when learners use mental images of situations that are not actually present to stimulate their behavior.” His studies show that we use fantasy to learn so “learners may use their imaginations to meet challenges, satisfy curiosity, exercise control, or experience interpersonal motivations without directly participating in the imagined activities themselves.”

These studies are particularly interesting because intrinsic motivation is spurred by fantasy. Dr. Vockell’s research proves that the “emotional elements” of fantasy “can make learners more willing to engage in an activity…” Like doing something they have never done or going somewhere they have never gone. He also attaches the cognitive elements of fantasy which can “make learners more willing to engage in an activity by enabling” them “to imagine themselves actually” bringing fantasy to life.

This made me want to learn about what motivates us to move from fantasy to reality. After reading Intrinsic Motivation in Psychology: Definition, Examples & Factors, I learned about how fantasy can “stimulate intrinsic motivation” because as learners, we can practice doing what we want before going live! Call it a mock life. This white paper said that fantasy is a motivating factor because “behaviors can be encouraged by the use of imagery.”

The other factors I found interesting were challenge and curiosity. With regard to a challenge, this study says “we’re highly motivated when we’re working toward goals that are personally meaningful to us and require some amount of difficulty to achieve.” This factor helps us meet our goals and fulfill our dreams. According to this study, curiosity “can motivate us to take action.” So…fantasy enables motivation and “motivation is what drives us to take some action.”

Both men and women live in a fantasy land. They live simultaneously in fantasy and reality. Fantasy land is where we practice things we want to bring life to. I mentioned six men and one woman in this piece who value fantasy. These people understood/understand how fantasy relates to reality. This understanding brought each fame and fortune, but more importantly it made their dreams come true.

The Romantic Artist of the Spanish Crown said it best. Francisco De Goya said that “fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels.” Don’t rely on reality and reason alone. Don’t abandon fantasy. Don’t produce impossible monsters. In time, if fantasy is nurtured and united with reality, something marvelous may happen.

With a Purple Crayon

In 1955, Crockett Johnson published a childhood favorite about the hidden power of a crayon. Harold and the Purple Crayon is a story for children, but there is really a lesson for adults as well. Almost 60 years ago Crockett Johnson sent us a message about taking control of our lives without forgetting to dream. Each of us has a purple crayon. The question is… If you use your magical crayon, where will your path lead?

In Johnson’s story, we see the crayon become a symbol of possibilities, imagination, and inventiveness. Albert Einstein once said “the one who follows the crowd will usually get no further than the crowd. The one who walks alone, is likely to find himself in places no one has ever been.” This great man couldn’t have said it better. The possibilities are endless when we don’t restrict ourselves. We fall into a pattern of doing things in life a particular way because we think that’s what is expected of us. We should draw our path using imagination and inventiveness even if we must walk that path alone.

It is symbolic that the author of this book wanted Harold to use a crayon. At first glance we may think “well… Harold is a child and children use crayons.” If we look deeper we can again see the crayon as a symbol. A crayon has no eraser, thus it is presumed that there is no wrong path to erase. Each step we take is taken for a reason. Why didn’t Harold have a pencil instead? “There are no wrong turnings. Only paths we had not known we were meant to walk.” In his book Tigana, Guy Kay dives head first into fantasy land with his purple crayon in hand.

In Johnson’s book, when Harold felt his path needed to be altered, he did just that. Harold appears to be a baby like character and symbolizes the raw imagination each of us possess. We just need to tap into that, ask ourselves what we really want out of life, and then set out on the path to accomplish our goals. When Harold wasn’t getting anywhere on his path, he altered the direction of the path. Gautama Buddha once said “if you do not change direction, you may end up where you are heading,” but without accepting change when it is necessary we are surely set to fail.

If you have read this story, have you ever wondered why Harold didn’t have a crayon box full of colors? I did. Our world is colorful right? Again this is symbolic. The crayon is a sole representation of that which is in us. I believe in destiny, but I also believe that we are active participants in that destiny. The author selected a purple crayon to create a story. Purple is the only color Johnson gives to Harold. The color has been known to symbolize magic, imagination and inspiration. It is also a “color favored by artists,” and “people seeking spiritual fulfillment.”

Harold and the Purple Crayon is not a simple book. It is packed with intricate symbolism. The most symbolic part of the book is when Harold started “looking for a hill to climb” because he knew that “the higher up he went, the farther he would see.” He decided to sketch a mountain instead of a hill and he scaled it. He set a goal. Once Harold reached the top, “he slipped.” Instead of falling to the ground, he thought quick and made sure a balloon would break his fall. This story teaches us to move forward and keep looking up regardless of our fears.

There will be times when our path feels long, narrow and very cold. There will be times when we feel lost, but we must remember there is no wrong path. This path is your path. Each step we take leads us to the next. This is where we are meant to be. If you get lost or fall, you can shake yourself off and wipe the tears. Johnson’s message about the crayon is clear. We have the power to take control of life and dreams. The hardest part is remembering that you too have a purple crayon.

To Merge with Stars

Have you ever slept under the stars? Really slept under the stars? It is sincerely a magical experience. To some it may be unnerving to lay in the great wide open. Unprotected. Exposed. It makes us remember that we are human. We remember we are fragile beings. On a recent trip to Carlsbad, I slept right under the stars and skipped the hotel scene. I must say that it was an experience that I rather enjoyed. I like to think that I’m a really simple woman with a really complex mind. Having the stars just hover above me with all the brilliance of a New Mexico sky was breathtaking.

When we withdraw from all the busyness that complicates our daily lives, it is easy to realize what is complete and what is missing. I really didn’t sleep much for two whole nights. Not that I usually do anyhow. I have always been a night owl. This was different. I wanted to stay awake all night and observe. I observed the colors of the night sky and loved every minute. I imagined beyond simplicity and surrendered to the complexities of my mind. I observed my thoughts and dreams float up to eventually merge with super novas. I cleared my mind of useless clutter.

Right before I went to sleep I took this photograph. It was about 4:00am and the scene was extraordinary. I should have stayed up to catch the sunrise. Instead, I drifted off to sleep and into happiness.

Pain Killing Monday

Sometimes I find my evolution unbelievable. In the last decade I have changed drastically. The changes have been for the better as I polish both my intellectual and physical sides. I continue to change. I engage in an ongoing metamorphosis like an eager caterpillar.

There was a time when my favorite day of the week was Friday. Just like everybody else~ waiting…anticipating a glorified weekend of excess. Today I realized that this is really the old me. That is the chrysalis I am shedding. Soon I will be a moth, drawn to an intangible flame. With every passing day my wings and my mind gain strength.

Now I look forward to Mondays. I greet the new week with respect. There aren’t many who do. We are few and far between. On Monday I kill the pain and make way for yet more strength. Ready… Anxious… Excited to eat right and train hard.

Sunday Stairway

Stairway to Heaven @ the Santa Fe High Football Field

_________________________

The vision must be
followed by the venture.
It is not enough to stare
up the steps~ we must
step up the stairs.

•••~Vance Havner
_________________________

Now that’s a workout!! Seriously…running up these stairs in the Sunday heat must be one of the hardest beatings my lungs can take (not to mention my body). Legs shakin’ ~n~ what not! I was able to run up the stairway today with a bit of floor exercises in between. There are 50 steps up and 50 steps down. I was able to complete 800 steps, but I should be able to do more than that?? Maybe next time? I just keep visualizing those summer outfits. It’s also good to boost my mental clarity. Cheers! I’m done for the day and headed to Whole Foods.

…••.Kiss My Skin.••…

…••………..••…
With heavy
hands invade
my intellect
and take each
inch right from
the top.
…••………..••…
Investigate
every phantom
move. Stroke
my spirit until
I decide it’s
time to stop.
…••………..••…
Give my skin
her wanted
touch by
your blissful
fingertips.
…••………..••…
Relinquish the
cravings made
for flight and
probe my shell
with honeyed lips.
…••………..••…

by Felicia Lujan
3.4.2013

Making Wishes

~~MAKING WISHES~~
The Capshaw track is peppered with wishes~
just waiting for warm runner’s breath.
Photograph by Felicia Lujan

~^^^~^^^~^^^~^^^~^^^~

“The only wishes that
will ever change you are
the kind that may, at any
moment, eat you whole.”
― Janette Rallison

~^^^~^^^~^^^~^^^~^^^~

11*****Posted using WordPress for BlackBerry*****11

Virtually Pop Your Top

A virtual collection of electronic records which can be sorted using your fingers and a touch screen the size of a movie screen. The data can also be manipulated in various ways to improve collection control. This image was taken at the 2012 E-Records Forum in Austin, Texas. An Open House at the Texas Advanced Computing Center’s Visualization Lab was apparently a “highlight” of the forum.

As promised, it is time to mention the most interesting person I had the chance to talk with at the NAGARA/CoSA Conference in Santa Fe last week. I guess when you ask the right questions “they” will come! By they I mean the smart people… 🙂 After one of the sessions, Mark Conrad an Archives Specialist working with the Applied Research Division (Office of Information Services) of the National Archives and Records Administration (NARA) approached me. He said “aren’t you the one asking about open source solutions?” But of course I was the one! I was so excited to here that NARA is going there!!! I also had the chance to attend a session titled ISO 16363 Audit and Certification of Trustworthy Digital Repositories. The session was delivered by Mark and Technology Specialists from Kentucky. This “Archives Specialist” slash technical guru immediately started rattling off a list of tools and projects that I should take a closer look at. Using his tricked out iPad he started prompting his screen to pop my top. Mark works in the Center for Advanced Systems and Technologies (NCAST). In his position with NARA, he works with computer scientists and engineers from all over the world “to leverage new theories, knowledge, methods, and techniques to advance the lifecycle of electronic records.” Part of the mission of his division includes looking into “emerging technologies.” I must say I about did a back flip when Mark pulled up images of a Visualization Lab in the works. Simply mind blowing! There it was— a virtual filing cabinet. As an archivist, I would be able to process or arrange and describe electronic records by using my fingers and a touch screen. Yes- a touch screen- a virtual system used to arrange collections and sort data- with color codes and all. The volume of records in a particular series is proportional to the amount of data within a particular sector of the collection. In January of 2011, the web administrator of NARAtions: The Blog of the United States National Archives interviewed Mark Conrad. She asked him what he was working on and he said “with the assistance of 17 student interns, I am collaborating on a number of projects. For example, many of the students are currently loading large numbers of files into a testbed that is being used by the computer scientists working on the CI-BER project. The purpose of the project is to provide insights into the management of very large data collections. As the number of files and bytes in a collection goes up some of the systems used to manage the collection break down. This project will help us to identify some of the bottlenecks and look for better ways to build systems that don’t break down as the volume picks up.” He also said he was working with the “Department of Energy, NIST, Naval Sea Systems Command, Army Research Lab, and other Federal Agencies on ways to share information about current and emerging practices for managing and preserving engineering data for as long as it is needed.” Sometimes I am glad that I ask a grippa questions— if I didn’t care about open source solutions, I would have never met one of the most interesting archivists with a technical background ever.